im 16 years old, iv had suicide thoughts before but it stopped for years, recently my boyfriend broke up with me because i messed up and lied to him, he was my first love and my first for everything. Ever since then iv been having major suicide thoughts, i cant go out, and i cant go 10 minutes without crying. I feel so alone and I dont know what to do, I tried telling him im thinking of it, but he wont listen.. someone help me im desperate, i just want him back.
Thank you for sharing your pain. You are not alone. I certainly have felt what you feel right now, the agony and guilt and terrible loneliness and suicidal thoughts too. The more you can get those feelings out, the better. Keep writing on this board, I want to know how you're doing.
I hope that you can forgive yourself for being human, for making a mistake in your relationship. Like the other person who responded to your post, I too believe that you are young and have so much to live for. Even though at the moment you can't see it, please know that this too shall pass, and please hang in.
I have a loved one who had struggled with depression for the majority of his life. It has been very painful and he has not had the best results from therapy which also included a group experience. At this point he won't even consider therapy so I don't push it- too much pushing actually causes him to shut down and retreat further. There is a book entitled "The Depression Cure"- can't remember author's name- it's recent- but it has some very helpful concrete interventions that include supplements and a specific area of cognitive behavioral therapy (centered around "ruminating") that my loved one has found to be more helpful than previous therapy. The author states that in chronic depression it can actually be more harmful in some cases to be going over one's childhood experiences- which can trigger an awful lot of ruminating. The title is extreme- using the word "cure", however, I did find it a powerful source, and easy for a layperson to understand and make sense of. I have seen him shift a great deal- and he is not taking antidepressants. Much healing and peace to all those struggling with this much misunderstood illness.
I just discovered, and thank God I did, that it looks like I have this dysmorphic syndrome. Not that there is anything to celebrate when it comes to feeling suicidal, but at least I can talk to my doctor and therapist about ways to cope. For anybody who suffers from depression, I hope this may help as well. I am already recovering from drug addiction, and expected depression. It has been mild to moderate. I didn't have my period for about 8 months due to the amount of opiodes I was taking. Now, the last two periods I have had have been a tsunami of emotional upheaval. The closest I have ever been to seriously thinking not should I but how I would kill myself. I was terrified. I knew I was premenstrual, so I was paying attention. The day I got my period, I was exhausted, but it all stopped. I wasn't Happy go lucky, but the thoughts I had had literally the day before seemed surreal. "Did I actually think that" I looked up pms+depression and saw info on this syndrome. It occurs during the luteal phase after ovulation. Two weeks to fours days before your period. Great, you might have one good week out of the month. Women who suffer from it get severly depressed. It may be a sensitivity to not enough estrogen or too much progesterone, I think. Anyway, I am going to talk to my doctor about it. I just wanted to share it in case it sounded familiar to anyone. It is awful. Hormonal swings can be so subtle and insidious. We may just put the feelings down to " well I have had a shit life so of course I feel like this." When in fact the severity of the depression is physically related. This from a person already on antidepressants. Thank you for reading, and I hope this helps somebody.
Thank you for those who have posted on depression. I don't think that I have ever suffered from clinical depression. However, I do find that when I slow down considerably and have time on my hands my emotions can tend towards feeling depressed and that my life has no meaning. Last month I took 2 weeks of vacation and was extremely busy for the first week and a half as I had family who were visiting. After they left I still had 5 days off of work and by the second day I could barely tolerate being in my own skin. To cope I began to busy myself that day and the feelings dissipated. I have to say that when I went back to work the next week I was quite appreciative of my job. At times I am not fully satisfied with my job. Although I like my job I don’t have the same “love” for my work as I did in my previous job which I had for 17 years. However, I did learn a valuable lesson in how my work does help to mitigate some of my feelings and the lesson I learned was that of gratitude. I do know that all of these feelings whether truly defined as depression or not need to be dealt with. I am in therapy and do bring these feelings in and am thankful that I have a safe place to discuss them.
I appreciate your insight around keeping busy. I used to suffer from depression. It is hard for me to truly remember what it was like now - because it was such a dark, hopeless, and painful time. I have changed and my life has changed with me. It happened through therapy, but, therapy is a long process. I used to think that if I could just focus on therapy, without having to work and survive, that I would get better faster. Now I look back and I feel that the problems in my life, and having to work, and going to therapy and continuing to deal with my family – was a necessary part of changing my inner world. Keeping busy helped make things tolerable so that I could continue to heal. I do still experience depression occasionally. It is a pale shadow of what I felt before I started my therapeutic journey. Now it helps guide me. It also reminds me to feel good about how far I have come.
Thank you for sharing some of your experience with depression. If you feel comfortable, I would like to hear more about your therapeutic journey and how you were able to get to the place where you are at now.
I have struggled with depression for most of my life. Every step I took in the world was fraught with feelings of inferiority. I therefore, tried as best I could to avoid social situations. This caused me to became more and more isolated, depressed and paralyzed with fear. Finally, the pain was too much to bear alone and so I decided to try and find a therapist to help try to make sense of my insurmountable fears. I needed a therapist who was experienced with clients suffering with depression, one who could help me to struggle with my feelings and to help me make sense of their origins. I already knew that my feelings came from a very non supportive childhood family life but I just didn't know what to do with that knowledge. I needed a compassionate therapist who could help me work through my depression and to help me build up my strengths. I needed to be heard and validated in my feelings. Finding the right therapist took several tries but I eventually found one whose skill, knowledge and compassion matched my needs. I am very thankful for the help I've received.
struck a familiar chord with me. Although I lived through that experience, it didn't dawn on me until later in life that my feeling of depression and lack of self worth came from a very non supportive childhood family life. Finding the right therapist is key and I'm glad you had the courage to keep searching until you found the right person for you. It is quite incredibleto me the strong impact tha one's childhood has on you even in your midlife. You are not alone in your journey. I hope we will be able to understand what was abnormal in our early years and then move forward to a place where we can find peace and joy
im 16 years old, iv had
im 16 years old, iv had suicide thoughts before but it stopped for years, recently my boyfriend broke up with me because i messed up and lied to him, he was my first love and my first for everything. Ever since then iv been having major suicide thoughts, i cant go out, and i cant go 10 minutes without crying. I feel so alone and I dont know what to do, I tried telling him im thinking of it, but he wont listen.. someone help me im desperate, i just want him back.
pain of first love
Thank you for sharing your pain. You are not alone. I certainly have felt what you feel right now, the agony and guilt and terrible loneliness and suicidal thoughts too. The more you can get those feelings out, the better. Keep writing on this board, I want to know how you're doing.
I hope that you can forgive yourself for being human, for making a mistake in your relationship. Like the other person who responded to your post, I too believe that you are young and have so much to live for. Even though at the moment you can't see it, please know that this too shall pass, and please hang in.
trust me when i say
trust me when i say this.............no matter how bad it seems things
will get better with time. you have your whole life ahead of you and i
know it seems bad at the moment but you will make it and you will
come out stronger. you are so young and have so much to live for. one
lesson i have learned the hard way is only you can make yourself happy.
no one else can do this for you and it is important to work on yourself and
heal yourself. have you thought of talking to a therapist? i think this would
be a beneficial step. dont keep these feelings inside talk to friends or family
or whomever you can trust. i am going through some similiar painful
struggles so i know its not as easily said as done but trust me you are
young and have your entire life to live and it will be worth living
Struggling with depression
I have a loved one who had struggled with depression for the majority of his life. It has been very painful and he has not had the best results from therapy which also included a group experience. At this point he won't even consider therapy so I don't push it- too much pushing actually causes him to shut down and retreat further. There is a book entitled "The Depression Cure"- can't remember author's name- it's recent- but it has some very helpful concrete interventions that include supplements and a specific area of cognitive behavioral therapy (centered around "ruminating") that my loved one has found to be more helpful than previous therapy. The author states that in chronic depression it can actually be more harmful in some cases to be going over one's childhood experiences- which can trigger an awful lot of ruminating. The title is extreme- using the word "cure", however, I did find it a powerful source, and easy for a layperson to understand and make sense of. I have seen him shift a great deal- and he is not taking antidepressants. Much healing and peace to all those struggling with this much misunderstood illness.
premenstrual dysmorphic syndrome
Hi ,
I just discovered, and thank God I did, that it looks like I have this dysmorphic syndrome. Not that there is anything to celebrate when it comes to feeling suicidal, but at least I can talk to my doctor and therapist about ways to cope. For anybody who suffers from depression, I hope this may help as well. I am already recovering from drug addiction, and expected depression. It has been mild to moderate. I didn't have my period for about 8 months due to the amount of opiodes I was taking. Now, the last two periods I have had have been a tsunami of emotional upheaval. The closest I have ever been to seriously thinking not should I but how I would kill myself. I was terrified. I knew I was premenstrual, so I was paying attention. The day I got my period, I was exhausted, but it all stopped. I wasn't Happy go lucky, but the thoughts I had had literally the day before seemed surreal. "Did I actually think that" I looked up pms+depression and saw info on this syndrome. It occurs during the luteal phase after ovulation. Two weeks to fours days before your period. Great, you might have one good week out of the month. Women who suffer from it get severly depressed. It may be a sensitivity to not enough estrogen or too much progesterone, I think. Anyway, I am going to talk to my doctor about it. I just wanted to share it in case it sounded familiar to anyone. It is awful. Hormonal swings can be so subtle and insidious. We may just put the feelings down to " well I have had a shit life so of course I feel like this." When in fact the severity of the depression is physically related. This from a person already on antidepressants. Thank you for reading, and I hope this helps somebody.
Thank you for those who have
Thank you for those who have posted on depression. I don't think that I have ever suffered from clinical depression. However, I do find that when I slow down considerably and have time on my hands my emotions can tend towards feeling depressed and that my life has no meaning. Last month I took 2 weeks of vacation and was extremely busy for the first week and a half as I had family who were visiting. After they left I still had 5 days off of work and by the second day I could barely tolerate being in my own skin. To cope I began to busy myself that day and the feelings dissipated. I have to say that when I went back to work the next week I was quite appreciative of my job. At times I am not fully satisfied with my job. Although I like my job I don’t have the same “love” for my work as I did in my previous job which I had for 17 years. However, I did learn a valuable lesson in how my work does help to mitigate some of my feelings and the lesson I learned was that of gratitude. I do know that all of these feelings whether truly defined as depression or not need to be dealt with. I am in therapy and do bring these feelings in and am thankful that I have a safe place to discuss them.
I appreciate your insight
I appreciate your insight around keeping busy. I used to suffer from depression. It is hard for me to truly remember what it was like now - because it was such a dark, hopeless, and painful time. I have changed and my life has changed with me. It happened through therapy, but, therapy is a long process. I used to think that if I could just focus on therapy, without having to work and survive, that I would get better faster. Now I look back and I feel that the problems in my life, and having to work, and going to therapy and continuing to deal with my family – was a necessary part of changing my inner world. Keeping busy helped make things tolerable so that I could continue to heal. I do still experience depression occasionally. It is a pale shadow of what I felt before I started my therapeutic journey. Now it helps guide me. It also reminds me to feel good about how far I have come.
Thank you for sharing some of
Thank you for sharing some of your experience with depression. If you feel comfortable, I would like to hear more about your therapeutic journey and how you were able to get to the place where you are at now.
I have struggled with
I already knew that my feelings came from a very non supportive childhood family life but I just didn't know what to do with that knowledge. I needed a compassionate therapist who could help me work through my depression and to help me build up my strengths. I needed to be heard and validated in my feelings. Finding the right therapist took several tries but I eventually found one whose skill, knowledge and compassion matched my needs. I am very thankful for the help I've received.
Your post on depression
struck a familiar chord with me. Although I lived through that experience, it didn't dawn on me until later in life that my feeling of depression and lack of self worth came from a very non supportive childhood family life. Finding the right therapist is key and I'm glad you had the courage to keep searching until you found the right person for you. It is quite incredibleto me the strong impact tha one's childhood has on you even in your midlife. You are not alone in your journey. I hope we will be able to understand what was abnormal in our early years and then move forward to a place where we can find peace and joy