I read the above postings with interest. I have flown in aircraft all my life,or  more specifically since I was 12. I have many flights under my belt as a consequence but find that the older I get the more anxious I am about the event as a whole. This may in part be due to the fact  that to fly is always exhausting and uncomfortable and this gets worse with growing older. However, turbulence in recent years initiates considerable anxiety,which gets bigger as a response each time I experience it.

I have not until this moment considered that this anxiety is a phobia, ( why? ) but I am curious. Why I am frightened more and more by this experience? This is something I should perhaps explore in therapy.  I thank you for opening my mind to this area of self exploration. 

The very thought or mention of the possibility of having to fly somewhere immediately causes my stomach to drop and I am flooded with feelings of intense dread.  I literally feel sick to my stomach and I am overwhelmed by prevailing emotions of powerlessness, anxiety, fear and panic.  I was not always this way.  Up until my early 30's I actually travelled a fair amount.  I was never an overly confident flyer but my fears never stopped me from boarding an aircraft.  The more my internal life got out of control the more my fear of flying increased.  Perhaps I should rephrase what I just said to say that the more my unresolved issues in my life came to the surface, proportionally my fear of flying was amplified. I went through a breakdown a number of years ago and just prior to the breakdown I took several flights which were excruciating for me.  Days ahead of the flight it felt like a death sentence had been handed to me and I was just waiting until the given time when I boarded the aircraft and my life would end.  For most of the flight I simply shut my eyes and waited out the storm so to speak.  I would have some reprieve on the holiday or visit but then a few days prior to departure those horrific feelings would resurrect themselves and my thought would be "this is the last time my family will see me" etc.  So needless to say, after my breakdown I just could not put myself through the tortuous feelings and emotions, thus I just chose not to fly and took holidays where I could drive to my destination.  Almost 3 years ago, my mother who lived out west passed away.  A month prior to her passing I packed up my SUV and my little dog and we set out from Ontario to spend time with my mom.  I thoroughly enjoyed the drive and with my dog as my companion it was a good trip.  However, when she passed I did not have the luxury of the choice of whether to drive or fly.  I did manage to get on the plane and I think in that moment I was overwhelmed by so many other feelings that I was able to make the flight.  The trip back to Ontario was a little more challenging but at that point I consoled myself that if the plane crashed I would get to see my mom.  I have not taken a flight since.  Even as I write this piece those deep sickening feelings are with me.  In my therapy I have worked through many challenging issues and this is one that is still on the table for me to deal with.  Cognitively, I understand that this is a phobia but emotionally it still just simply overwhelms me.