Starting therapy can bring up all kinds of feelings — curiosity, hope, anxiety, even ambivalence.
That’s entirely normal. The first session isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s an invitation to begin, to speak freely, and to start sensing whether this could be a space where you feel seen and understood.
Therapy begins — and depends on — the relationship, so the fit matters. We’ll help you know what to expect, and what to notice.
The Space Is Yours
In psychodynamic therapy, your therapist won’t follow a script or checklist. Instead, they’ll invite you into an open, reflective space where your thoughts, feelings, and associations are welcome — even if they’re contradictory or hard to name. You don’t need to plan what to say. Some people start with a story or a concern, others begin by naming how strange it feels to talk to a stranger about something so personal. However you start is just fine.
The therapist may offer a few gentle questions to help you begin, but for the most part, they’ll follow your lead — listening closely not only to what you say, but how you say it, and what might be just under the surface.
It’s a Relationship — and Fit Matters
The therapeutic relationship is not like other relationships in your life, but it is a relationship — and that means the connection between you and your therapist matters more than any particular technique. In fact, research consistently shows that the quality of this relationship is one of the most important factors in successful therapy.
This is why the first session is less about clinical assessments or treatment plans, and more about sensing: Does this feel like someone I can talk to? Do I feel heard, not just responded to? Do I feel safe enough to be honest here — even a little bit?
You don’t need to feel fully comfortable right away, but many people report that by the end of the first session, they have a sense — a gut feeling — about whether this is the right person to do the work with. Trust that feeling. Your intuition and inner knowing are vital tools in this process.
You Can Ask Questions Too
Your therapist is there to support your process — and you’re allowed to be curious about theirs. If something is unclear, or if you’re wondering how therapy might unfold, it’s okay to ask. Some helpful questions might include:
There are no wrong questions. A good therapist will welcome your reflections and engage them thoughtfully — not defensively — because therapy is collaborative.
If It Doesn’t Feel Right, That’s Okay
Not every therapist is the right fit for every person, and that’s not a failure. If something feels off — if you feel unseen, judged, or simply disconnected — you’re allowed to keep looking. Therapy works best when you feel something click, even subtly, in the relational space.
We believe that finding the right therapist is a meaningful part of the therapeutic process itself. And we’re here to help you find someone who feels right to you.
A Final Word
Beginning therapy takes courage. It asks you to be open, to be uncertain, and to take yourself seriously. The first session is the beginning of a dialogue — not just with your therapist, but with yourself. Take your time. Bring your questions, your hesitations, your hopes. This is your space, and your process.
When you’re ready, we’re here to help you find a therapist who’s a good match. Visit our Get Matched page to take the first step.