Grief is not a problem to solve. It’s a process to live through — one that can’t be rushed, fixed, or neatly put away. At OPCC, we understand grief as a deeply personal experience that reflects our capacity to love, to long, and to mourn what mattered. If you’ve ever been told to “move on” or “get over it,” this blog is for you.
There’s No Timeline for Grief
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. You might feel devastated one day and strangely okay the next. Or you might go months feeling like you’re coping — until a memory, a season, or a song brings everything back.
In a culture that often rewards emotional control and productivity, there’s pressure to “bounce back” quickly after a loss. But grief has its own rhythm. You’re not doing it wrong if it still hurts after months or years. You’re not broken if you’re still carrying the weight of something — or someone — you lost.
Grief Is More Than Sadness
We often think of grief as just feeling sad. But it can also look like:
- Numbness or emotional disconnection
- Anger or irritability
- Guilt or regret
- Difficulty concentrating or feeling present
- Longing, dreams, or intrusive memories
- Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy
- A deep sense that something is missing, even if you can’t explain it
Grief isn’t just emotional — it lives in the body, in memory, in identity. Sometimes it reshapes us entirely.
The Loss Isn’t Always a Death
While the death of a loved one is a profound form of grief, it’s not the only kind. People also grieve:
- The end of a relationship or friendship
- A miscarriage or fertility loss
- The loss of health or a former version of yourself
- Estrangement from family
- Immigration or displacement
- Dreams that didn’t come to be
- Cultural or generational losses
Therapy can offer space to name and process losses that may not always be recognized or validated by others.
Culture Shapes How We Grieve
Grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience — it’s deeply shaped by our culture, community, and family traditions. In some cultures, grief is collective: shared through rituals, ceremonies, music, and public expression. In others, it may be more private or spiritual. Some cultures honour the dead through ancestral practices or storytelling. Others observe long periods of mourning with specific roles for community support and remembrance.
However, many of us live in a society where Western, individualistic models of emotional control dominate. These models often prioritize:
- Keeping emotions “in check”
- Returning to work and productivity quickly
- Avoiding public displays of sadness
- Pathologizing grief that lasts “too long”
This can leave people feeling isolated, ashamed, or “too much” when their grief doesn’t fit into these narrow norms. For those whose cultural expressions of grief are loud, visible, or communal, these Western expectations can be particularly silencing.
At OPCC, we honour and make space for the ways your cultural identity and ancestral history shape how you grieve — and how you heal.
Why “Moving On” Isn’t the Goal
When people say “move on,” what they often mean is “make this easier for me to witness.” But real grief doesn’t go away on command. You don’t move on — you move with it.
Over time, grief can shift. It can become quieter, more integrated, more familiar. But that doesn’t mean it disappears. At OPCC, we view grief as something that deserves space — not something to be hidden or rushed. It’s a form of love with nowhere to go, and it asks to be witnessed with compassion.
How Therapy Can Help
Grief is not something you need to face alone. Working with a therapist can help you:
- Speak your loss out loud, in your own time and way
- Understand the ripple effects of grief on your relationships, identity, and sense of self
- Explore complicated or mixed emotions, including guilt, anger, or relief
- Stay connected to what you’ve lost while also finding ways to live forward
- Be met without judgment, urgency, or platitudes
- Honour your cultural or spiritual grief traditions in the therapeutic space
Our therapists won’t try to “fix” your grief. Instead, they’ll sit beside you in it — gently, respectfully, and without pressure.
A Final Word
There is no right way to grieve. There is only your way. If you’re carrying something heavy, whether newly raw or long silent, you deserve support that honours the depth and meaning of what you’ve lost — and the cultural and personal wisdom that shapes how you carry it.
At OPCC, our therapists are here to walk alongside you — not to push you forward, but to help you stay present to what matters. If you’re ready to talk, visit our Get Matched page and take the first step toward support.
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule — and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Find a therapist who understands the complexity of grief and will support you at your pace.